Humor

Here's where I like to have a little fun with The Screen Savers. If you would like to contribute something, Contact Me and I may post it here.

You overclock your microwave oven. (Burn your popcorn in half the time!)
You deliberately maim your computer just to get a housecall from Scott and Roger. (Also known as Munchausen-by-proxy-server syndrome.)
You wear wild-color print shirts that induce psychedelic flashbacks in passing hippies.
From out of nowhere, you hear a strange sound effect whenever someone says the word "flash".
Your spouse is unhappy about all the books crammed in the refrigerator.
You reprogram your kids' Furbys to say things like "Leo and Patrick are kings!"
Your favorite visual aid in business meetings is a bunch of M&Ms
You own every t-shirt in the ThinkGeek catalog.
AMD offers you a volume discount on replacement Athlon processors.
You get thrown out of Fry's for stroking all the hardware.

On 6-5-2001, Patrick and Leo discussed a news item about how the Vatican had decided against allowing online confessions. As a service to their viewers ;), TSS set up an online confessional. Inspired by this, I've decided to confess my former AOL addiction. It has been tough going, but I have been clean and sober for five months thanks to:

We admitted we were powerless over AOL, that our lives had become fragmented.
Came to believe that a Bandwidth greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our access and our email over to the care of DSL, as we understand DSL.
Made a searching and fearless deletion of temporary internet files.
Admitted to Mark Klatte, to ourselves and to another chatroom the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have Earthlink remove all these corrupted cache files.
Humbly asked @home to remove that "You've got mail" guy.
Made a list of all users we had spammed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such users wherever possible, except when to do so would knock them or others offline.
Continued to scandisk, and when we were wrong promptly cleansweep it.
Sought through Symantec and ZoneAlarm to improve our page requests with cyberspace, as we understood cyberspace, searching Google only for links of the web's will for us and bandwidth to download it.
Having had an ethereal boot-up as the result of these Steps, we tried to email this message to other AOLoholics, and to practice these principles in all our packets.

Patrick's the alpha geek host to the hilt.
Many a cool and fast rig has he built.
Athlon chips shake with fear,
Whenever he's near,
And he drives the girls wild in a kilt.